Rhys invited me to team teach with him for training - it was the first time I'd taught any Jam since the module, and the first time I'd taught at that gym. I didn't really know what to expect. I was lucky that I at least knew the location and layout of the gym since I'd been there a few times when Hamish was covering there.
I knew that I'd never teach my module tracks from BJ54 again, so I went with the dark block from BJ52. I didn't realise that learning a whole block was ambitious as a trainee, and I didn't realise how much pressure I would be putting on myself.
I scripted heavily before the class - writing something almost for every rep, and every eight count of choreography. I use this approach in RPM and I thought it would work for BODYJAM. Of course, in due course, I would learn that I would have to find a new style of learning for BODYJAM. Despite having instructed for a while, it really was starting all over again. Before I taught with Rhys though, I hadn't realised this.
I rocked up, having reviewed my choreography, listening to the tracks over and over, practising the chorey over and over, honestly thinking that I'd be all good.
I went up on the stage with Rhys, and when it came time to teach my block, *everything* disappeared from my head. I was struggling to remember the choreography, all of my scripting went out of the window, and I could barely get any words out of my mouth. Not only that, but I confused moves from other routines so I was even doing the wrong moves. To add to that, towards the end of the block, Rhys left the stage and stood down the back and watched me. As if I wasn't freaking out enough, seeing him there analysing me added another thing to worry about in amongst the tornado that was going on inside my head.
After the class, we went to an Asian food and drink place next door to the gym to debrief.
I knew that I hadn't done very well, but still wasn't prepared for what Rhys was about to unleash.
He outlined every single thing that needed work. As he sat there and recounted every thing, it felt more and more overwhelming.
In summary, he said that
- I didn't know my choreography
- I wasn't getting enough 'up'-movement in the shoulder
- Arms weren't strong enough in the double hammer
- Was doing something weird with my knee in in the three-knees
- No control in the upper body meaning at times I looked like I was about to throw up
- No difference in intensity levels between Base, Flava and Breakout
- Could not hear a single word I was saying
Great.
We agreed to choose one release and do some mirror work for technique. I hate mirror work at the best of times, and with the feedback I'd just received, I was petrified.
I went away feeling seriously deflated. I was even blinking back tears. I thought, "I hate Rhys. I hate Jam. I quit. There's no point in even going on. Sarah should have just failed me outright rather than giving me a withheld."
The gym is quite a long drive away from my house so I had some time to think. What was Rhys trying to achieve by giving me all of this feedback? Was he trying to hurt me?
I didn't know Rhys that well at this point, but I did know that if he didn't like someone, he wouldn't bother wasting any of his time with them. If he wanted to hurt someone, he would absolutely rip them to shreds and there would be no doubt of his intentions.
That's not what happened. So why, then? If he wasn't doing it to hurt me, then why?
He wasn't getting anything from my teaching with him. In fact, he was taking a massive risk as the members could complain to management about him bringing me onstage. Not only was he jeapordising his relationship with his members and with his gym, he also wasn't getting anything out of this financially, and he was giving up his own time.
Those are not the actions of someone who wants to hurt you. Those are the actions of someone who wants to help.
That didn't stop me from being nervous as hell for the mirror session. It was 6 days away, but it felt like 6 lifetimes wouldn't have been enough time for me to get ready for it. Only time would tell.
8 comments:
It is a tough journey, that is for sure. The only thing that saved me when I started teaching Jam (four years ago) was the mirror work and tons of repetition. You are doing the right things! Your passion for the format and the fact that you keep getting up after being knocked down mean you are going to be an amazing instructor when the dust settles. As for cues and coaching (for what it's worth), I like to create a "bank" of sayings and descriptions, say them over and over during the practices, and then forget about them. You will find them floating into your mind at just the right time. Thanks for sharing your experience as you go - brings back a lot of memories. Jam on!
Honey, please do not despair ! I feel your anguish, and I understand your frustration.
I am also so (SO) glad that you can look at the situation with some kind of rationality - If anyone thought you were a lost cause, then you would have been failed, and the feedback would have been non-existent.
I would like to give some feedback based on my training, and how I see some fresh instructors coming through. Please know that none of this is personal, I have only seen you from a distance during the filming of BJ50, and I know your passion for programs such as BODYJAM.
First up, the title of your blog pretty much sums everything up in four words: "JAMMING it ALL in". I want to be honest and say that your goal of teaching a whole block of choreography was perhaps a little ambitious.
My very very first suggestion is to go back to your pass-withheld, and revisit your BODYJAM program manual again. In that there should be a section outlining what you need to do as some of your first baby steps towards certification.
I still remember after learning Step, I was as nervous as anything about team teaching for the first time. I stuffed up so much. I had been teaching BODYJAM for years and years. I had been doing Step as a member for ages. But like yourself when it came to teach it, the words were not there, the choreography had gone and my voice was like a tiny mouse.
So what is my suggestion ? Look at it from the point of view of a house - you need the foundations and the framework first. Start small, then before you know it you will have the world's biggest skyscraper ever.
Teach only one or two tracks. A warm-up/ isolation. A latin track. A recovery etc. Perfect them, get them so that you can do those in your sleep, so that you know your choreography, your cues, your stage presence, your technique, your physical execution.
Scripting for one or two tracks is going to allow you to focus more competently on your five key elements. This also allows you to make incremental improvements on your physical execution and technique during your mirror work.
Shadow for the whole class. Relax into the class, and hopefully some of your nerves will start to relax. But don't forget being nervous each time is good - it shows you care. As you start to get used to the class (and they get used to you) your ability to project to that class (and subsequent classes at other clubs) will become easier. If it helps, imagine them all naked. On second thoughts maybe not !
My suggestion for Rhys if you are reading is to focus on some key things for Raina. Every time she teaches, you need to sit back and make a conscious decision about what is happening on stage, through the microphone and what the participants are doing. Then when it comes time to debrief for each class, you need to focus on one or two things that Raina did really well, and one or two things that she needs to improve on. You also need to asses them from a priority point of view, if choreography is non-existent, then working on that is more important than getting the words out. There may be other incidental extras or "nice-to-haves", but they can either wait for another day, or they may suddenly appear when other things like technique and choreography are mastered. Confidence will also do wonders (so will dutch courage !)
Your choreography and mirror work are key. Try and do this as often as you can, and with as many people as you can. Not only will this help you identify how you move, but also where your choreography possibly deviates. As odd as it sounds, while you practise in front of the mirror, cue an imaginary class. Talk to the (wo)man in the mirror and get them to do the moves. The fantastic thing is that each time you cue that person in the mirror, they ALWAYS get it right.
Scripting is golden. I wish I scripted more, to be honest I would never stick to it. Remember what you NEED to say. Sometimes if you over script it, you can confuse what you WANT to say.
Sometimes there is only a few things to say:
Set up the move (feet/ hips/ arms) and name the move. This is where a safety cue should be.
Follow up the move with how it should feel = "looks like", "feels like", "like a" etc
Motivate and shut up = remember that the music needs a chance to speak also.
As you become comfortable teaching the track, come back and re-script it.
I hope some of this helped… and I am eagerly awaiting your update on your next class…
Dance like no one is watching, all the best !
Teraquis - Wow, thank you so much for your advice! Just so you know I'm writing this approximately a year after it happened so there is a lot that has happened since then which I am yet to catch up on (just a bit behind with blogging!)
I loved reading your comments, and will continue to refer back to them since it also helps to reassure me that I wasn't the only one who went through the same experience.
Also, I'm working on the next post right this moment ;)
mr (wr)ight - That's awesome advice, thank you so much! I know I'm going to have to try and find a way to make peace with mirror work since I know that's going to either make or break me.
oh the suspense, Raina!
In module training, you're only graded on three of the five key elements since they're the basics you need to get through teaching a class. One has to work on them repeatedly so that teaching a block becomes almost instinctive -- you know where you are in the music, what move goes with it, and what to say to get your participants in that position.
Can't wait to read the next installment. :)
Great to hear that you've bounced right back! I didn't realise that this was all happening over a year ago.
Anyway, glad to hear that a friend is helping you out. Hope it works/worked out okay and I don't think that you should let the bad experiences from BJ54 put you off dancing it in the future :)
Noelle - Thanks for that, and you're absolutely right. When I taught that time with Rhys it wasn't instinctive, and it was a sign that I had more to work towards. Next installment is tomorrow!
Mathew - It is a relief that I have someone helping me! I may not have been able to fight back at all without his help. While I might teach the rest of BJ54, I don't think I'll ever teach my module tracks again - that's fine; I've never taught my RPM module track since the module again and I don't plan to! :D Plenty of other things to learn though so it won't be too big a deal :)
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