Run Run Rudolph

Plan

• Body Pump @ 6am
  
• 5km Run
  

Actual

• 5km Run - 39mins [1st successful attempt]

First things first - Have taken an executive decision to not take note of the number of calories I've burned. Instead, focus is now on distances and times.

Second - Was so buggered from yesterday's Extremely Long Day, which had me in town at 7am and finishing off from there at 6pm (home at 7pm - basically a 12 hour day), of which, 3 hours of it was IN THE RAIN and so I was snivelling and sniffing and sneezing something awful today. As much as I adore Matt's Pump classes, I needed sleep. I was nodding off throughout the day, so even the extra hour of sleep wasn't enough.

Though I know very well how tiredness does not equal a good sleep. A good workout not only gives you more energy, but makes it easier for you to rest. So I went forward with my planned evening workout - my first attempt at a 5km run.

I struggled. Normally, I start off slow and increase the pace as I go along. This time, I took the wrong approach. I started off fast, and it sucked the energy out of me so quickly that I started slowing up. I initiated the run at 6.0mph, increased further to 6.5mph, and then lowered down to 5.5mph, 5.0mph - I even spent a bit of time at 4.3mph.

And I'm angry about that. I've been getting my knickers in a twist reading Andrew is getting fit and his running on the Couch to 5k program.

What I haven't mentioned on here before - since it was when this blog was on hiatus - was that
I started doing the Couch to 5k program; but it progressed far too quickly for me. It focused a lot on running an expected distance in an expected time - which I didn't like. When I began training for the triathlon, someone gave me some good advice - start off slow, and build your pace as you go along. Applying that to every run I did, I progressed further and further each time. I didn't put any pressure on how fast I was going, just that I was going. That's all that mattered.

I know that it's going to sound like I'm picking on Andrew and making him out to be an ogre, but that's not what the point of this is. I've been wrong in blaming him for my anger, and I need to acknowledge that.

I've been quite proud of my progress before reading about Andrew's progress with his running. To be completely upfront and honest, I'm furious with the amount of progress he's made. It doesn't seem fair. I almost feel like saying, "How DARE you run further, and faster than I can. What right do you have, to waltz on in here and just overtake me like that when I've been slogging my guts out since forever?!"

This post below here is what began the uncomfortableness.

I’m back from illness. I won’t say I’m 100% yet. Probably only 85% but I decided to go to the gym today. I figured a light workout would be good.

I decided that I would do a bit of a walk on the treadmill. So I started to walk and I felt quite good. Then I thought, might as well do a light run, just 5 minutes so that I don’t get too out of shape on the running. And what do you know, I kept running for twenty minutes which means I completed week 05 of the couch to 5K program.

I’m rather pleased.

It also meant thatI have achieved another one of my personal running milestones. I ran for over 3km today. I think I ran for 3.4 km in my 20 mins. I also suspect that this is the longest I have run in my life. Which is a bit sad but it is also an achievement.

I should've been thrilled for Andrew. 3.4km in 20 minutes! How awesome for him!

But no. Selfish, Self Centred, It's All Bout Me Marshmallow's jaw dropped and went, "THE FUCK?!?!?! How the hell does this bastard run 3.4km in 20 minutes while he has bronchitis when I've been running for MONTHS and it takes me 25 minutes to run a shorter distance?!?!!?! *splode*"

Then came this post .

Today’s run called for 25 minutes on non stop running. No mucking about with intervals or what not. I started off thinking “I can do this!” Halfway through I was thinking “I’m going to die.” But I refused to give up and I didn’t die.Today’s run was the longest non stop run I have done in my life. I covered 4.1 km in 25 minutes. I’m fairly proud of that even though its not particularly fast.

This time, I even let the jealousy fly, in my response to him.

And how the hell did you run 4.1km in 25 minutes?! THAT’S NOT FAIR!!! I wish *I* could run that distance in that time!*snort* You were worried about getting chicked. *grumble grumble ASSHOLE grumble*

His reply to me, has haunted me ever since.

Marshmallow: It was on the treadmill at 1 measly percent incline. I’m sure you could do that.

At the gym, I run on 1 percent incline IF I REMEMBER to increase it at the beginning of the run. Sometimes I get so into the run that I only realise towards the end that I haven't put the incline up. At home, the minimum incline that the treadmill goes to is 1.5% incline - which is a bit of a pain in the arse, since I really can feel the difference.

Ever since I've read that post, I've beat myself for not being able to match the same times that he's done. The last 4km run I did took me just over 33 minutes, and today, I put myself in some serious trouble by trying to match the same pace that he does. I blitzed my last 4km time by 5 minutes, but it didn't feel good. I felt angry, knowing that Andrew had done it in less time.

And when I'd completed my first ever 5km run, I wasn't happy about it. I was pissed that I couldn't keep up the same pace that Andrew keeps up for his runs.

Then suddenly I realised, "What the HELL am I doing?!"

There is no need for me to try and compete with Andrew. Couch to 5k is clearly working for him, but it didn't for me. There's no need to be ashamed of that. If slow progress suits me better, then it suits me better, and I shouldn't feel any need to try and 'match' or 'one up' anyone else. If someone else is stronger at running than I am, then so be it! Running has always been a weak point of mine, and there shouldn't be anything wrong with that.

I mean, I have other strengths. My swimming is pretty strong - I have swum 1.75km nonstop, but know very well that I have more to give. I'm awesome in Body Jam and RPM - I can do all of the high impact options in Body Jam whilst keeping in rhythm and having a great time, and in RPM I can carry a lot of load and ride with a lot of pace.

All through my runs of, I've had those words bouncing about in my head. "1 measly percent." "I'm sure you could do that."

I should know by now. It should be MY words going through my head. Not someone else's.

Andrew - if you come across this post through all of the linkbacks, I didn't mean to get frustrated as a result of your progress. Your progress is phenomenal, and I'm just plain jealous. I'm going to go back to the way I know things work - focusing on going the distance, not going the distance in x-minutes. You say I'm an inspiration to you, and I find that really uncomfortable - because truth is, you're an inspiration to ME.