Jamming it all in: Part 13

My RPM journey to certification went quick. Too quick, if you ask me. My Jam journey, felt like it was taking forever.

I started teaching more often, at more places, and again teaching different choreography. Since I was trying to learn the choreography, I didn't have enough time to spend on technique. My head was an absolute mess of choreography.

I taught with a larger number of instructors, and for the best part, very few of them gave me feedback, and when they did, they gave me terrible or conflicting feedback. One time I was given feedback that actually rocked me to my core, had me bawling my eyes out, and was the least helpful thing that any instructor could have ever said to me.

I kept comparing my RPM journey with my Jam journey. With RPM, I could feel myself getting better. I felt myself getting more confident, feeling like I knew what I was doing, and that I was credible. With Jam, it constantly felt like it was just consuming all of my energy and I wasn't getting any better. If anything I was getting more tired, more confused, and more frustrated.

Was it ever going to get better? Or was I just deluding myself. Was Sarah's statement at the beginning of There were times when I looked at you and I just... *clutches at hair, makes pulling out motion* code for Don't bother because you'll never be good enough?

My Jam training began to take on a different focus for me. It wasn't about how to pass certification... but whether I should bother trying to at all.

Jamming it all in: Part 12

The Les Mills assessment process goes - do the module, team teach a minimum of 10 classes, then teach a full class. From there, you either, self evaluate and submit a filmed full class in to the Les Mills Agency for the region (in my case, LMNZ), or, request for an onsite assessor to come and witness a class on the spot.

For RPM, I filmed myself teaching a class and sent that in to LMNZ and got assessed that way. But, I was not comfortable with a DVD being in the possession of the agency - even though they were obliged to return the DVD to me, that doesn't mean that it could be copied, or that the assessor could watch the DVD with someone else present in the room.

Yes, this would be incredibly unprofessional of the assessors, but, and I'm not going to name who, I have heard about people who have done as such. I'm not going to say which agency or how I came across this information, but having that knowledge made me incredibly uncomfortable. I already had all this detailed knowledge floating around about me doing the Jam module in Wellington when I'd asked for complete privacy. The more I learned about the group fitness world, the less I liked, and the more my faith waned.

I wanted to make sure that I was absolutely rock solid for my certification.

However, because I'd had the car accident, I had to take some time off teaching to allow myself to recover. As if that wasn't bad enough, just when I had nearly healed, I attended the LMNZ Hamilton workshop and one of the bikes in the RPM studio broke while I was on it and I fell right off the saddle and landed on my tailbone, aggravating the injury sustained in the car crash. Teaching RPM was hard enough, though Jam was absolutely out of the question.

Just over three weeks later, I arranged to team teach at my sponsor club for the first time.

I had been team teaching so much with Rhys that really, it shouldn't have been a big deal. Teaching there though, it felt like teaching for the first time all over again - dry retching to the point where it was painful.

Every time I teach at a new gym I'm nervous. Things like the best route to take to get to the gym, how long it takes to get there, how the sound system works, what the members are like, where the water fountain is, where to park the car, etc. All of these things build up to a ball of nervousness.

My sponsor club though, I'd been there for a considerable amount of time. I knew the best route to take to get to the gym, how long it takes to get there, how the sound system works, what the members are like, where the water fountain is and where to park the car.

Why was I so nervous then?

Because of this. The first time I ever did anything 'instructory', it was shadowing the BODYJAM 52 launch at my sponsor club. The following evening, I got this comment on my blog.

Dear Raina, I am a member at [sponsor club], I read your blog from time to time and was surprised to see you shadowing with the Jam team... I don't mean to be rude... it's really cool that you know instructor friends... who can invite you on stage to shadow... but I and my friends all feel something.. that your appearance makes the Jam experience less appealing.. to be blunt.. the people on stage are supposedly the role models that we look up to.. but we don't wanna be like you... we don't wanna end up looking like you by doing Jam... we try hard to shed some pounds and lose fat... but seeing you up there is like telling us that we'll be gaining more by doing the class... we got really traumatised.... and some have even thought of dropping Jam...

sorry again to tell you this I know this is not pleasant to hear... but could you consider not doing it in the future? thank you...

[emphasis mine]

Clearly, I didn't listen to this moron. Heck, I've spent the last two years Not Listening to this moron. I reported it to the manager though, they were furious and went on the warpath.

I was anxious that I was going to experience it again. I'd taught at that club since then without any similar remarks, but that was RPM. This was my first time onstage in front of the Jammers and it was right at the forefront of my thoughts.

Thankfully, the biggest problem I had was that the members rolled their eyes when I started teaching BODYJAM 57. While I had been recovering from the injury, the other trainee on the module from the same gym had taught BODYJAM 57 so much that the members were sick of it.

The plan was to have the release learned in its entirety before the module, so that after I passed all I should have been doing was refining the release and getting my certification done quickly.

For several weeks after that, I was scrambling to learn new choreography, too much of it, too quickly, simply because the instructors I was onstage with effectively banned me from teaching the release.

It didn't really feel fair. I'd put in months and months of work and then because of a stupid injury I now had to start all over again and learn new material? Why was *I* the one having to cram my head full of choreography and learn something new while the other trainee was pretty much free to teach the same release however many times as they damn well pleased.

As if I felt I hadn't been doing this thing long enough.

Happy Panda is Happy

I'll admit, I actually found myself flapping about before the RPM 55 filming trying to make good on my word.

Actually finding a soft toy panda to buy was more of a task than I anticipated. What I thought would be a quick visit to a toy store had me visiting every single store in every single mall I cam across that sold soft toys, the majority of it in vain. I came across loads of bears, monkeys, tigers, elephants, unicorns... I was lamenting my choice of animal pretty quickly.

Then finally I found this little dude.

It's actually a baby rattle, but how cute is it? I just look at it and it makes me smile. How can you not look at it and not feel your heart fill up with warmth? For me, that's what Hernan represented and why people loved him.

All of the running around meant that I only *just* made it to the RPM filming. They were taking people in from the waiting list, and I said "I'm on the normal list." The person on the door gave me a stern telling off (I know, I know, but finding the panda and then finding parking near the gym was a hard ask).

Given the shape of the panda, it was actually really easy to put up on my handlebars.

I was worried that he might slide off at some point in the ride, but he actually stayed in there pretty securely.

He also had a pretty good view of the presenters

I wasn't able to attend the BODYCOMBAT 52 filming as I was covering classes for people who knew Hernan a lot better than I did. So I put together my playlist with as much BODYCOMBAT overlap as possible.

One of the gyms I was teaching at actually know Hernan - he was kind enough to come along and do a special class for them. I notified the members that today's class was a tribute to him, and again, my little panda friend was perched right up in front.

I immediately changed after this class and then headed into the city for the BODYCOMBAT 52 filming. I managed to miss all of it and just entered the room when everyone had cleared the stage, though everyone on the floor was teary eyed. I knew it would have been an emotional experience for everyone there. Everyone I spoke to who attended it said that the cooldown was dedicated to Hernan, and that it was moving and beautiful - the perfect tribute.

I'm sure that we will hear about it from those who were there, and in due course, we will get to experience it on the DVD when it comes out.

The funeral is tomorrow, and I know a large contingent of the Les Mills community will be out in force to pay their respects. He was an incredible man, and he has left an incredible legacy. He will never be forgotten.

Sad Panda

Today is the final day of filmings for this quarter, where the release RPM 55, BODYSTEP 88 and BODYJAM 61 is being filmed.

Though for most of the Les Mills community, all eyes are going to be on the BODYCOMBAT 52 filming. It will be an emotional day for all of the Combatters who are going to be attending, and if you are going, I urge you to spend the time experiencing the masterclass the way that Hernan himself would have done so - with passion, excitement, and laughter.

For those of you who haven't heard the official story about how he died, check out this article.

I was initially intending to go, though several instructors have been affected by his death to the point where they are too much of a wreck to teach their classes, so I am going to be covering RPM at the time that the BODYCOMBAT 52 filming is taking place. My dear friend Glen Stollery has said he will be wearing a black armband today in commemoration of Hernan, and well... initially I said I was going to do the same.

I'm actually not. Well... that's not true, I am, I'll still wear the armband, but I'm also going to do something that resonates with me a bit better.

This image, for me, perfectly encapsulate the happy, hysterical being that Hernan is known for.

So seeing as I'm missing out on the BODYCOMBAT 52 filming, I'm going to see if I can go out and buy a small soft toy panda and perch him up on my handlebars during the RPM 55 filming (if they let me) and the other RPM classes I'm covering. If I were a Combat instructor I'd probably put the panda on the stage.

This really isn't an attempt to try and 'out-do' anyone at the filming, hardly. This is more because the panda will hopefully help me and others to remind ourselves that we need to spend our time remembering him feeling like this.

Otherwise, we'll instead feel like this.

I know which panda would be a better tribute.

Jamming it all in: Part 11

I woke up on the final day of the module with every part of my body hurting. I had initially thought of going into Britomart early to go through my second track, but even getting out of bed was a mission. Heck, every single movement I made was an absolute struggle, and my head was absolutely throbbing; kinda like being kicked in the face by a horse.

I listened to my track over and over, though had to force myself to concentrate - I found myself very easily drifting off.

I hadn't been to the doctor at this stage, and didn't know the extent of the injury. My track involved a lot of upper body undulation, and that probably was not what was the best form of activity for it. When it came time to present, my focus wasn't on others on the floor, it was barely on the music, and it certainly wasn't on my coaching. I was trying very hard to not cry out every time I performed the move which is effectively a body roll.

You can see the move demonstrated in the routine here at 0:14, and explained at 0:31 in this clip.

Yeah okay it probably doesn't look like much from afar, but I can guarantee you that everyone on that stage is getting some serious ripple action on during that move.

I may not have cried out every time I had to do the move, but T could tell that it hurt.

Throughout the day, I kept convincing myself that anything I felt wasn't because of the crash, but because of the general soreness from the module. Everyone in that room was hurting, so I felt embarrassed everytime T looked at me with concern and said, "Raina are you okay?"

I of course, tried to overcompensate leading into our final presentations and asked if I could teach a warmup. T said I could teach the first track which I presented as a warmup before doing my second track later on. Just because I'm insane like that.

When it came to giving us our outcome, T told everyone in the group straight away that we'd passed. I let out an audible sigh of relief. I didn't expect the news to come so quickly, especially after how long Sarah took to tell me last time.

It took a while to sink in. I couldn't have pictured that just passing the initial module for Jam would have taken that much time, and that much effort. I also couldn't picture how much continued time and effort was ahead of me. After all I wasn't out of the woods yet. I still needed to certify.

R.I.P, Hernan

By now most of you would have heard the news which has stunned the Les Mills community - the news of Hernan Lopez's passing.

I didn't actually know Hernan, not even well, at all. I wasn't a regular in his classes, and I don't think I've ever had a proper conversation with him.

I don't teach Combat, so I haven't experienced his presenting on the DVDs, apart from the couple of filmings I went to where he was on the presenting crew (BC40, BC43, BC46).

If he knew anything about me, it was that I made this photo of him.

This was immediately after the BC40 filming (the one where he blurted out I AM KUNGFU PANDA in the middle of I Know Kung Fu)

My lack of knowing him didn't meant that I wasn't stunned on hearing the news. I know that he was loved and adored by many the world over, and an inspiration.

What I will know him for his teaching what would be the most hilarious classes that I've ever experienced. One time I was in his class and my pants were starting to slide down, so I stopped the chorey to pull them up. Hernan spotted this and yelled out to me "NO! LEAVE your pants!! Let them fall down!!!" I don't think I've ever encountered another instructor which has encouraged me to let my pants fall down in class.

Even though I don't think I've ever spoken to him, every time we crossed paths, I would get that trademark smile which just had that way of lifting up your spirits. I know that smile will be etched in peoples memories and hearts forever.

While we are all left reeling from he loss of an incredible personality within the Les Mills community, what we are feeling is probably but a fragment of how his family and friends are feeling right now.

If there's anything that can be taken from this, it's to spend your lives doing what you love with the people you love. Take every chance to tell the people that you care about that you do care, and cherish every moment.

We are all human. And it can all be taken away from us in a heartbeat.

A second wasted is a second too many.

Jamming it all in: Part 10

When it comes to module track allocations, this is how I find it generally goes. Take every track I like, love, or am itching to teach, and disregard it. Take the remaining tracks, and pick the one that is my weakest to execute, and that's the track I ended up getting.

By the stage the module was confirmed, and it was confirmed to be on BODYJAM 57.

For those of you who don't have the ability to view the routines, here is a little snippet of the BODYJAM 57 training session from Sydney in July of 2011; this is the beginning of the Street Party Riot routine. The guy presenting it is the choreography of the program, Gandalf Archer. (Yes, seriously. His name is Gandalf. And he often wears grey too. Mind blown.)

I can confirm that I do not look even 1% as cool as any of the guys in that video.

Through teaching with Rhys, I had fortunately managed to teach the whole release top to bottom, non-stop, and was thrown in the deep end with it also.

As in...

Rhys	Guess what, Rai Rai's teaching the second half!
Me	HUH???
* Rhys throws microphone at me and runs off the stage
Rhys	TEE HEE!

From the teaching and the feedback that I got, I figured that the two tracks I could possibly be given was 1) the isolations track - Gloria Estefan's 'Go Away', and 2) a track from the Street Party Riot block by Vandalism & Static Revenger called 'Vegas'. So I started doing a lot of mirror work, scripting, listening to the tracks over and over.

Then, given that I'd put so much effort into learning those two tracks, a thought occurred to me.

"I bet I'm going to get two completely different tracks now..."

That night, an email came through from Tauvaga with our track allocations.

Hey everyone!

Here are your BJ Track allocations for the module this weekend:

...
Raina Singh - Afro Caribbean Street Party 1 - La Tromba Rising and Street Party Riot 3 - Do It Like This
...

Chur everybody, see you Friday at Britomart!

Tau

Rhys thought it was actually good, since he believed my technique was the best in the Caribbean Street Party block, and the second track was small and only had a couple of moves.

On the day of the module, I was so nervous that I felt physically ill. I headed down to Britomart early and stood in front of the mirrors and went through my tracks. Tauvaga came down and introduced himself - although he certainly didn't need to tell me who he was. He'd just presented BJ56 at the previous Auckland workshops, and then he's all over the LMI and LMNZ marketing material, including DVD artwork. (I had to do a massive double take when he appeared on the cover of RPM 47, *without* cycling shoes also)

From the outset, this module had a very different feel to the one in Wellington. It felt much more focused. Tauvaga (T) said to me that "I could allow myself to be immersed in the program completely", whereas the multi-programme module in comparison felt very disjointed and generic. T was given the opportunity to deliver the manual content and relating it specifically to Jam. The training exercises were related to Jam and only Jam, instead of being a general One Size Fits All.

We had clear guidance on what was expected from us, from what we were going to do for the duration of the module, and how it all fitted together. While I technically had done the module before, I felt I was receiving the information and how it related to Jam much better.

The way that the technique sessions were structured were also really good. As we had a small group, rather than going through the whole masterclass bit by bit, T split the technique sessions into two - the first half of the release, and then the second half. We each had a track from the first half and from the second half, so we all had a lot to concentrate on.

I did have a bit of a problem though. I was the Know It All of the group. Answering all the questions, and adding on to whatever T said, sometimes correcting him.

I found myself constantly apologising as I kept on piping up, because T was super nice he said "Don't be ashamed of your knowledge." Bah. I hereby apologise to everyone who was on that module with me - If I were in your shoes I would have gotten annoyed with me very quickly.

Day 1 ended and I felt optimistic. Presentations were first thing the next day, and I was nervous... but it was a different sort of nervous. I can't really explain how. I'd taught the block a million times, gotten loads of feedback on it before, so I guess what was going through my head was 'Have I forgotten anything?' I'd tried to be as thorough with my technique as possible, but remembering Sarah Robinson and all of the crosses in my technique feedback form had me a bit paranoid.

Day 2 started with our first presentation, and it actually went really smoothly. T gave feedback in a similar way to Sarah in that he gave it immediately after the presentation - though that worked well as we were a small group. The feedback he gave to me was to try and push the breakout more.

And that was it.

I had to take a moment to go. "... Really? That's... Really???"

We did some more exercises, read from the manual more, then did our second part of the technique for the masterclass. This related more to the tracks that were going to present on Day 3, though after that was done T spent some time with us one on one going through both of our tracks. This was really valuable, and I appreciate that for most modules, this probably wouldn't be possible. I think of the 16 people on our RPM module, the 10 people on the multiprogramme module, and the 16 people on the other module I did... then extend that to the 40 people on the CXWORX module... how many of them would have gotten one on one time with the trainer to go over their tracks?

One thing that T said that was heartening was he knew about my being withheld previously, and he was prepared to give me much more help with my technique but was pleasantly surprised. His exact words were, "I can tell that you've put a lot of work into your technique." That's down to Rhys.

I actually felt the second presentation went more worse than the first. I had tried to structure my coaching based on what had been covered in the material that day, and it didn't feel authentic - it felt forced. T asked me immediately after I'd presented how I felt it had gone, and I said, "I didn't like it, it felt contrived." Running with that, he said that he agreed, it didn't feel like the coaching was coming from my heart, but that it was one of those things that I would relax into eventually.

Driving home on the end of Day 2, I was tired, my body was sore, and I was looking forward to a long shower and a warm meal. It was pouring down with rain, so I was really looking forward to getting inside, fed and watered, and to bed.

On the drive though, the car in front of me suddenly slammed on their brakes. I had to slam on mine to avoid rear-ending them, and thankfully, I just managed to avoid hitting them.

But, the woman behind me had no chance. She slammed into my car at over 100k/ph. I didn't immediately feel the soreness, but I was well shaken. I pulled over, and then got out of the car to see if the other woman was all right. She was shaken as well, and I explained to her that the car in front of me had stopped randomly and I had narrowly missed them. We exchanged details and I sat back in my car.

The first person I texted was not a friend, not a family member, but it was T. After the disaster that was Wellington with the injury, I regretted not telling Sarah about it. I wasn't going to repeat it.

I wasn't aware of it at the time, but I had sprained my lower back, neck, and had mild concussion, as well as general whiplash through the neck and shoulders. I was hurting, but I wasn't sure how much of it was fatigue from the module or how much of it was injury from the crash.

I was one day away from finding out whether I was still on this Jam Journey of mine, or whether it was ending. Maybe my priorities were out of line, but I was not going to let the crash stop me. It had been far too much time, and far too much effort to get to this point and there was no way that I was going to let it all go to waste.

Jamming it all in: Part 9

With Rhys presenting BJ57, it put him in an awesome position to help me with technique for that release. I would teach a block, he would observe, and give me thorough, detailed notes about the technique and what I needed to improve on.

There was one detail that I needed to take care of, and that was getting on a module.

I did not want to fly down to Wellington and fail again. I also did not want the same experience whereby as soon as I came back to Auckland, every person and their dog knew in excruciatingly fine detail of what I'd been doing.

I spoke with Mid Thomas, the event training manager for Les Mills New Zealand and she said that if I got four people onto the module, she'd organise one on the fly. She also said that she would use a different trainer, Tauvaga Siolo from Wellington. Hmm... funny how all of my Jam training thus far had a Wellington connection. The first time I went to Wellington, the second time, Wellington was coming to me.

I knew a couple of people who were wanting to do the module - including one person who had been in the same boat as me and had been the only one who had registered and had it cancelled around her. The other thing I needed to do was sort out a date that everyone could do it.

I had three people, so I needed a fourth one to make it happen.

In amongst all of this crazy Jamness, I did the AIM1 module for RPM with Sarah Ostergaard. I felt I did okay, not my best work because I was so nervous and had to contend with firealarms blaring throughout my first presentation, yet Mid sent me an email to tell me that Sarah told her that she was really impressed by my teaching. My reaction was initially like OH GAWD PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT ME *HIDE*, and when I bumped into other LMNZ trainers, they all said that they heard that I'd done well at AIM - again, my reaction was OH GAWD EVEN MOAR PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT ME *HIDES AGAIN*

I forwarded this message from Mid to Hamish and Cath. It was in the same message however, the Mid was talking about the number of people I needed to make the module happen. The next time I saw Hamish, he said that he wanted to do it again. He didn't need to do the module, but he really wanted to in an attempt to rediscover the spark that made him want to teach Jam to begin with.

This meant that I had the required 4 people to do the module. The date was scheduled, and I put in my leave from work.

Oh lord.

This was actually happening.